Deeper than Skin

Oversensitivity on skin,
on a specific spot on wrist
looking for a scratch I can’t provide
as I listen to music from a year ago
that caramelizes my ears,
and drives deep down to center,
and rustles the water,
turning it murky
before I can see the depth
of what I truly face
in this blurring of fates
between spirit and silence,
amongst messiahs with no identity
that always had pristine water,
mocking my muddy brown,
forcing a pressure on skin
right between the eyes-
pulling up my hand,
massaging away
sensations waiting and
wanting me to see.
Or scratch.

Fazed Unfazed

without you
within I
unchanged (dramatically)
unfazed (pragmatically)
yet desire
and wonder
lead back to
within you
without I
no voice
just words
no touch
just sight
and good…
just good
but not great
for great
eliminates wonder
and confusion
kills desire
retreats words
into silence of moving tongues
in vagaries and deceptions
producing
precise isolation
leading forward to
without you
within I
changed
fazed

The Day I

If 18 years is the age of a man,
then the day I turned 18
is the day that I died,
but more likely than not
the real age was 5.
When blood failed to flow
and breath came and went,
one for every second I spent
telling my father,
“don’t worry, I’m fine
today will not be the day that I die.”
But the truth of a statement
only measured by words
cannot hold the weight
of what I insured.
And on that one day
in the year I was 5
was the day I turned 18,
it was the day that I died.

Sunset to Sunrise

Another sunset to sunrise-
Same sitting, quite fitting-
Watching
Daylight to dayfade to
Nightlight to nightfade to
Nightbreak by daybreak to
Bedrest through breakfast and
Resting through sleepless and
Writing the words down,
Killing the witness and
Praying to godless and
Forcing the image and
Feeling the stigmas,
Recalling the future and
Wake up for dinner,
Waste away UV ’til
First call at last call
and kicked out again
and too sober to remember
what I yet realize.
Just another day
between sunset and sunrise.